Make that responsible decision that is right for you!
Are you a driven woman, 40+, who, in her race against time to become a mother, has to deal with sperm donation and/or egg donation?
On the outside, everyone sees a power lady who has everything her heart desire.
But that is in contrast to what you feel inside: the pain and the desire to choose for yourself and for a (next) child.
Do you recognize this?
I would love to be your personal mentor!
After all, you have no valuable time to lose.
But first we are going to build a solid foundation.
You are going to connect with yourself. Do you dare to surrender to your own desire? Or what exactly is holding you back? And what are you actually looking for in this wish for children?
You are also going to connect with your future child. How is your decision from this child’s perspective? What does it take for him/her to be happy with the life you give him/her?
3 steps are the common thread through te programme,but each process is tailor- made depending on your story.
Step 1: yes or no?
Do you fully opt for this desire to have children? At this point in your life? In this way (via sperm and/or egg donation)?
You want to avoid your child carrying remaining doubts and grief for you.
For that reason you are going to:
- fully connect with your deep desire.
- look at your struggle as part of a bigger picture: your family system.
- start your grieving process, about your ideal picture (a genetically own child with your dream partner), and about underlying layers of grief
- ‘dig’ in your different layers of doubts about sperm donation and/ of egg donation.
- look from several perspectives
Step 2: if yes, then how?
You want to discover if there is a route in the mind- boggling maze of possibilities, that is just right for you and your future child.
You want to avoid going along with options that don’t feel quite right.
For that reason you are going to:
- reflect about crucial questions, determining your decision:
what kind of donor or donors’ profile (anonymous/open/known) will you choose? what information do you want from the donor? what role will you play in the selection of the donor? which fertility centre/which country can you go to based on your values and preferences?…
- already start an exploratary conversation with a known donor/ fertility clinic/ sperm bank, if you feel ready
I hereby apply all my background knowledge and network.
If necessary, I can continue to be of very practical assistance by
- putting you in contact with centres, experts or organisations.
- help you prepare for meetings.
Step 3: the future, what next?
The donor story lasts a lifetime. You want to know how you can integrate the donor story in the life story of your child.
You want to look ahead and avoid this donor story once making your child unhappy.
For that reason you are going to:
- reflect about the place of the donor in the story.
- make a plan about if/ who/ how/ when to talk to about this
- reflect on your child’s possible search for the donor: what is possible and how do you react as a parent?
After this 6 months premium program you can still count on me if you wish! I would be happy to join you in a follow-up program.
This program ensures that you can still come to me with doubts and questions and that you do not fall back into old patterns and pitfalls.
I’ll be happy to give you all the info about it when we get to that point.
This is what the premium programme includes specifically.
This program contains the essentials that you really need to make a decision about your desire to have children, in this crucial turning phase of your life. No more, but certainly no less than that.
No indefinite number of sessions, no dozens of ‘masterclasses’, no ‘toolbox’, no complex online learning platform… Just to-the-point, efficient, in-depth and powerful.
Because your time and energy are precious, right?
6 months premium programme
| Individual start moment – live or videocall (2h)
We start in a very enlightening way.
We do this, among other things, with a family constellation. You discover patterns from your family of origin that can partly explain what is going on, and you put everyone in your future family in their unique place.
3 Individual breakthrough moments – live or videocall (3x 1.5h)
I challenge you in your decision process and in identifying blind spots. This creates a shift where you were stuck.
2 Individual reinforcement moments- videocall (2x 45 minutes)
On average 3 to 4 months into this programme, you make a decision and start taking steps in the chosen direction. But there will certainly be moments of doubts for the foreseeable future. This is normal, because this decision is huge, a process and not a quick fix. It should further consolidate.
You use these 2 reinforcement moments to prevent your process from stagnating or falling back and to make your decision even more robust.
Set of inspiration sheets, with my personal feedback
Your process also continues between our meeting moments!
You will get started with a valuable set of inspiration sheets with in-depth information and reflection exercises. I strategically select the inspiration sheets that are essential for you, tailored to your story. This way you achieve a maximum result with a minimum of material.
You always receive my personal feedback.
7/7 Whatsapp- or email- support
Consider this a safe harbor where you can always go. This is worth its weight in gold.
You get the recordings of every videocall moment.
BONUS 1: Audio recording visualisation exercise
BONUS 2: Your (possible) partner can participate in the programme at no extra cost
This is the end result.
- You are not losing any more precious time! These years of your life are worth their weigth in gold in terms of your child wish and you grab them!
- You have taken a liberating decision in whichever direction and you feel peace of mind. You can get on with your life now!
- If you are in a relation, it works most liberating for you as a couple that you made a decision.
If you are single, you can start dating again now are later on without seeing every date as a potential (biological) parent.
- And with respect to those people in your immediate surroundings you now dare to stand firmly behind that choice. What a relief!
- Looking to the future, you know that there is no blame: you did everything you could to make a 100% heartfelt and conscious choice. You are preventing doubts from overwhelming you at a later date.
- You have a clear plan of action, in the short and long term.
Each month, a maximum of 2 women (if they wish: with their partner) can join this 6-month premium programme. This way I can fully focus on my wonderful clients and give them my full attention, both during and between the mentor moments.
If all this resonates with you, let us meet online in a free match call!
I was able to choose for egg donation by looking more mindly at myself and the situation.
I was struggling with the question: ‘May I want to choose for egg donation?’ I thought it was partly my own fault because I had not reflected about my desire to have children in time.
Independently of that, I struggled with ethical questions and questions of meaning: how far can I go in stretching possibilities?, where are my limits?, what with our age?, …
The difference in desire between me and my partner also played a role.
By going through this coaching programme, I have dared to shine my light on my desire, that was covered with many layers of fears and opinions.
I also came to a fundamental understanding of myself: I easily identify myself with the ‘victim’, the person to whom things happen, the one who is more ‘debtless’ then the perperprator who makes sure who gets what he wants and dares to be guilty.
The moment I got the image of egg donation as a gift dat I could give myself, a lot of things started to move. If there are fears, I return to his image and I think: this is ok, I can give myself this gift!
Also the family setup, with the future child and the donor, had a lot of impact. My conclusion was: as long as love is the guiding principle, it’s ok. I am still clinging to that.
I was able to choose for egg donation by looking more mindly at myself and the situation. In difficult moments, I can go back to those insights and bring my desire back to mind, and this brings me back to track
Viki helped me see the reality of egg donation: a courageous step that requires continuous attention, before and after the birth of a child.