I adore the Netflix series “The Crown”, the high-profile drama series about the British Royal Family. I like the atmosphere of the series, the beautiful outfits and interiors, but above all:
family systems fa-sci-nate me!
The dynamics that run in the undercurrent through such a family system.
The patterns that repeat from generation to generation.
How that force field within a family system ‘drains’ individuals, without them being fully aware of it. Simply fascinating!! For real!
A compelling example of this can be found in The Crown. I don’t want to withhold it from you. In short:
David Windsor – aka King Edward VIII – was the uncle of the current Queen Elizabeth II.
The least you can say about him is that he wasn’t an every day member of the royal family.
With his escapades with married women, he always created a ‘thrilled’ atmosphere at the English court, especially when he also got involved in a murder trial of one of the husbands of one of those women.
Barely 11 months after his coronation, he abdicated to marry his forbidden love, Wallis Simpson. She was American, not of noble birth and already married twice and therefore unacceptable to the English court.
David’s good and conscientious brother Albert (father of the current Queen) took over from him as King George VI.
The repulted king further lived up to his rebellious image by having a life full of society and partying, far away from England and the royal family. During the Second World War he really stepped things up by showing Nazi sympathies.
His repeated requests to return to the royal family all ended in a clear “no”.
Fast forward to the next generation.
Margaret Rose – Princess Margareth – was the second and youngest daughter of King George VI and the sister of Queen Elizabeth II. Unlike her good and conscientious sister Elizabeth, this party animal always created a ‘thrilling’ ambiance within the royal family.
She really stepped things up by starting a relationship with her forbidden love, Peter Townsend. He was not of noble birth, a pilot and an equerry to the royal family, divorced and 13 years older then her and therefore unacceptable to the English court. The royal family did not agree to a marriage and Peter Townsend was banned from England.
The princess felt rejected too and threw herself further into a life of society and partying.
Years later, she married Anthony Armstrong Jones. He was an even more controversial choice: not of noble birth, a quirky society photographer, known for having multiple relationships, with both women and men. You can imagine how ‘happy’ the royals were. But Elizabeth did not dare to deny her sister another marriage.
Margareth was the first in the royal family to marry a civilian. And 18 years later, she had another first by divorcing. The turbulent marriage that preceded was full of extramarital affairs, including Margareth’s relationships with celebrities (including singer Mick Jagger) and her long-standing extramarital affair with a 17 years younger man.
In every way she was an outsider, a ‘royal rebel’.
Fast forward to the current generation.
Prince Harry is the youngest son of Crown Prince Charles and the late Princess Diana.
Unlike his good and conscientious brother and future King William, he always creates a ‘thrilling’ atmosphere within the royal family. He had fuss- making affairs, admitted at one point to having smoked hashish, beat up a press photographer in a London nightclub and appeared at a costume party in a Nazi costume.
He married Meghan Markle, an American actress, not of noble birth, of African roots, and divorced. The couple soon made it clear that they did not care about the traditions and protocol of the royal family. Two years into their marriage, they announced that they no longer wanted to be “senior members” of the royal family and moved to America.
The repulted prince further honored his rebellious image by, among other things, doing a high-profile interview with Oprah Winfrey and accusing the royal family of racism towards Meghan’s African roots.
The patterns that repeat themselves here through different generations are probably already clear to you.
Rebellious David Windsor is excluded from the family system. This makes him second in rank, after his brother/opposite pole/king. His exclusion set things in motion in the family system…
In the next generations, the second in rank, after their sister or brother / opposite pole / (future) king or queen, also rebelled, after which they were also excluded from the family system.
Didn’t I say it was fascinating?!
Systemically interesting dynamics play a role here that explain this. It would lead me too far to explain them here, I’ll teach you them – briefly but powerful – in one of the worksheets of my VIP program. Very enlightening (if I do say so myself).
The point of the story is (of course you’ve been waiting for this all along):
certain dynamics and patterns play out in every family system!
And now you’re probably thinking, “Yeah right, not in mine, my family is as boring as a bunch of gray mice compared to the royal family.”
And the latter could be true – maybe 😉 – but still: yes, also in yours! No doubt about it, it’s just common to family systems.
Without realizing it yourself, you find yourself in such a force field. Your family system pushes and pulls you.
Another important point:
your desire to have children is an incredibly systemic thing, because you are going to expand your family system.
So be sure that the force field of your family system has an effect on it!
I therefore start every VIP program with a family setup of both your future family/family and the family/family you grew up in.
I saw fascinating things happen here:
Quite a number of clients discovered systemic explanations for why it is so difficult for them to build a lasting relationship.
Or they suddenly saw before their eyes why they were blocking their complex choice about their desire to have children.
A customer discovered why she couldn’t possibly choose an anonymous donor because of her family system.
But above all: I saw how clients who discovered what they had to change in order to break through patterns and in order to boost their decision-making process about their desire to have children.
Are you an ambitious woman, successful in many spheres of your life, and do you long to fulfill your deep desire for children? Now or never?
Do you encounter sperm and/or egg donation?
In my VIP program we accelerate your wish to have children in 3 months and 3 modules!
What would it be like to meet online in a free match call?
I like to hear from you!